What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
