I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
My vagina is officially offended.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
