bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
