STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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