We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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