She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
