You made me cry and you don't even care
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize