Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
no, he came in my armpit
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
