Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
