i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
