Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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