Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
