I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
