Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
