Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
