We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize