Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize