I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
