I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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