Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize