ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize