I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
