I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize