So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Randomize
