I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
