So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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