You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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