Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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