I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
