last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
she told me i tasted like america
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
