Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
