she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
My ATM looks so different sober.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
