why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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