for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
