so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
