We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
