i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
