I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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