remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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