just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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