At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
