i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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