the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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