Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
