How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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