I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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