FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
either way he was missing a nipple.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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