You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
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