Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
