oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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