Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize