Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
