We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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