I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
