There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
