i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
