Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Dick very happy bro
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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