I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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