if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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