I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
