Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
