You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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