Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
