Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
