i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
