i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i just made my gag reflex go away.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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