Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
