I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
